One month of two

It’s been one month of two boys, in fact, a couple weeks more. Time is moving so fast that putting off “write for your website” for a day or two becomes a week or two. That’s family life now.

I had asked my friends with two kids what to expect. They told me a couple of things. First, what works for number one won’t necessarily work for number two - they are their own person. That wee calming noise? Make a new one. How they feed? It’ll be different. Your balanced routines? Expect them to change. Second, they warned me that juggling a baby and a toddler is tricky - almost like solo parenting.

They were right. It is tricky! I expected to feel just as harassed and crazy as the first time around, but it hasn’t been like that. It’s true that there is little downtime. With one, you can hand them to your partner and catch a break. With two there is very little space to think or do something yourself. However, despite the relentlessness, I don’t feel as crazy as I did with Jack. Maybe it’s because I am now experienced as a parent, or maybe it’s just because Rory was born with evening summer light rather than winter darkness. I think that has made a big difference!

I was comparing notes with H. For her it’s a bit harder - Rory is not feeding from a bottle as much as Jack did, so there is less I can do immediately to help. We have to figure out a new balance. It’s a tough situation to be in for H, but also, in the longer term quite rewarding.

One of the things that I have tried to focus on is how we communicate our love for Jack, now that Rory has arrived and he is getting less one-on-one time. He has been a sweet big brother, and we’ve tried to make sure that we make an extra effort to get out and do things that he loves doing. It’s obviously a bit bewildering for him. Whilst we marvel at Rory opening his eyes, looking around, making noise, we also keep in mind that Jack is also growing and changing every day. Last weekend I spent 20 minutes on the see-saw at the park with him, going up and down, and chit-chatting about life. Change leads to growth, and we’re all learning.